Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why is she doing this?

so I quit the weed guys (see my last question), started focusing on my music a lot more and got me a girl that I thought was different from all the rest...life was going good...till a couple of hours ago...basically I'm walking with her in the park and this guy with 3 girls start giving me ****, he says to her "you deserve so much better" I get pissed, my girl tells me leave it and we walk on... I take her home and she could see I was quite upset by that ****...she said I'm overreacting and put me at ease..so i was all smiles....but when I'm taking her back to her house, we see this guy from our college, she stops holding my hand and walks like a metre away from me! (almost like she didn't want to be seen as being MY girl) she never usually does this when we see the dude as well and we see him often...he greets me and walks on with his 3 mates... I asked why she did what she did...and she said "nothing"...but in my head I was thinking wtf? she DOES think she deserve better then me! our farewell was shorter than usual, like she seemed eager to get off...she told me to in-box her on face book, and I couldn't when I got home cos my aunt was on the pc... I was still feeling like empty when I left her, so when I did get a chance to in-box her I said "she off now" and then she tell me "Is it...well im off im tired...good nite. Sleep tight :) x" I feel dumb right now putting this up. I don't know if I'm over-reacting? help me please!! this girl inspired me to quit all the bad stuff (without even asking, which I think is special) and I know I'd feel lost without her...I feel so useless..and I am fully aware that I don't value myself...how can I? my whole life I've been burnt, even my own father chose a different wife and kids over me...I'm trying to be strong, but this is the first time since I've quit that I'm craving for alcohol...please help Mr. pathetic again

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